it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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