I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
