Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
