I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
