Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize