the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Randomize
