I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
