He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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