if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
