How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
