I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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