ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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