does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
did i just pee glitter
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
