If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
