i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
