I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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