Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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