I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
