You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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