she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My breasts were aching with rage.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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