i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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