Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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