"it" just moved
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There r osticjed everywhere
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
