Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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