jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
