a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
