Jerry, you need to find god
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Someone signed my nipple.
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