So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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