Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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