My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize
