I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
