my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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