you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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