Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
