Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
