Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
