all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
