at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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