I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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