Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
