"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
