Betty ford says i'm here all night
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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