Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
