dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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