Is it because I queefed?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
