i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
