i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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