I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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