i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i need an iv and a liver transplant
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
