This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
