I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize