So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
