She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize