like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
