Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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