my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
