He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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