So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
