I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
